A cold front started sweeping through Boulder on Sunday night, resulting in SNOW on Monday. It had pretty much all melted by Tuesday night, and today it was once again beautiful, sunny, and warm. I’d heard that it had snowed last year on May 1st, which was hard to believe after the warmth of last week. I’m now finally starting to get all the jokes about Boulder weather……sometimes it changes in the same day!
Unfortunately I’m feeling kind of stressed out today, trying to finish some updates for my cousin’s website before leaving for the weekend tomorrow to attend a different cousin’s wedding in Missouri.
More then that, I’ve nearly spent all the savings I brought from Illinois, meaning that very soon I’m going to have to find a way to make ends meet on my current meager salary. I’ve already started scanning monster/careerjobs/hotjobs/craigslist again, on the small off chance I can find some amazing semi high paying job that would also allow me to keep working my current job. The chances of that happening are pretty slim to none, which is really bumming me out.
Since I started college I’ve always had this horrible shadow of debt lurking over me, out of state tuition started it all, and then working for a low pay non profit in a place as expensive to live in as Santa Cruz simply compounded the problem. Thus I wised up a bit at some point and moved back to Illinois for the last year and a half or so. I definitely consider my efforts during that time pretty heroic, 60 hours a week for months on end did allow me to pay off a fair chunk of that dark cloud.
But then the weddings came, and suddenly I had the opportunity to go to both Germany and Chile to attend the weddings of some truly amazing friends. Those trips, the holidays, and the move have sadly put me pretty much back to exactly where I was when I first moved back to Illinois. Except that now my income is less than half what it was last year, even less then in Santa Cruz, and my bills have gone up since I’m living in my own place again. I got a thing in the mail about debt consolidation yesterday that had pretty fair terms, but even they rejected me this morning.
It’s definitely frustrating, as I don’t really regret a single choice I’ve made and wouldn’t exchange those memories for anything in the world. For better or worse whenever its come down to it I’ve always chosen experience over fiscal responsibility. Traveling, concerts, bachelor parties, nights out with friends, I’ve always been of the mind that those experiences are far more valuable to me in the long run then wealth. But now it feels like the consequence of many of those choices is that I’m going to have a decision I’d never have to make; do what I love regardless of pay, or take a job I don’t particularly care for but that allows me to make ends meet. I sincerely hope that oneday my passions will align themselves with a job that also pays well.
I’ve been very lucky in life so far, in that in the end things have always seemed to work out exactly as they need to. I’m still holding on to that belief for now, but sense a growing unease in myself that for once it just might not work out. Either than, or its bread and cheese for the rest of my life. and I might have to quit WoW. NOOOOOOOO! Oh well, enough ranting. I’m pretty sure I’ve enough to cover life and rent through Early June. So doom isn’t exactly imminent quite yet………
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