May
12

New Training Challenge

Posted in personal at 3:34 pm with tags: • • • •

Monday I’m going to start a new training challenge. This one will be 7 weeks/49 days, and again be mostly centered around strength training but will also have some additional components.

I’m considering sobriety for the entire challenge, which will roughly end when some friends visit for the 4th of July weekend, and seemed to work well for me last time.

Popularity: 45% [?]

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May
1

A new wallet?

Posted in life at 5:41 pm with tags: • • •

Earlier today Casey gave me a wallet made from recycled tires. He noticed my old one was a bit weathered. It is. I got it back in like 1999, at Kohls, with Ryan Doss and Brad Lewin.

My wallets bit on my ass for almost 10 years now, it’s been everywhere I’ve been. I’m attached to it and not sure I’m ready to replace it.

It’s seen my life in IL, CA, CO, and trips to Europe, Chile, Canada, and across the US.

It’s almost been to as many pearl jam shows as me.

It’s been to EVERY spearhead show I’ve been to.

Maybe it’s time to let go, but I just don’t know…

Popularity: 67% [?]

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Apr
25

Hello Dreamhost

Posted in life at 11:59 am with tags: • • • •

Finally got this here blog onto dreamhost, and can let my old hosting service go, hurray!

Not that I’ve been doing much blogging. Haven’t been up to much other than working, continuing strength training, playing lots of Halo 3, and enjoying the onset of spring here in boulder.

Stay tuned, a shorter, but hopefully just as transformative Training Challenge feels like its just around the corner…

Popularity: 42% [?]

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Apr
22

Upgraded

Posted in life at 4:23 pm with tags:

just upgraded to 2.5, and something didn’t work…

Popularity: 33% [?]

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Nov
28

birthday

Posted in life at 5:41 pm with tags:

if last year’s birthday was a step into integrity, today’s is a step into reality.

let’s hope next year is a step into abundance.

Popularity: 18% [?]

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Oct
29

Joy

Posted in life at 3:37 pm with tags:

I really do love jon stewart! and all those other people in places of power in this world that hold themselves and what they do lightly, while trying to change things even a tad.

Popularity: 19% [?]

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Oct
22

I’m getting lazy

Posted in life, updates at 9:03 am with tags: •

haven’t been blogging much, as I haven’t really been in a writing mood. Time for some updates though. Been hanging out, enjoying fall, started a new full time job, working on sexytie on the side (we’re up to about 220,000 views on video 1), and playing a lot of multilayer halo 3 with my dude friends. Have lots of car and financial problems (the latter partly causing the former) and still lifting weights with Casey and Rollie. Going to Las Vegas this weekend and looking forward to halloween next week.

that’s all.

Popularity: 26% [?]

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Oct
9

Good News….

Posted in life at 9:04 pm with tags:

Ideal Market has FINALLY restocked their supply of Seitan, and because of the merger of Wild Oats & Whole Foods they’re .50 cents cheaper a piece. That adds up when you eat as much as I do.

This is week 4 of Casey and I’s 4 week mega challenge. We didn’t get to lift yesterday morning because whatever staff person was scheduled didn’t show up and the gym never opened! BUt hell, we’re 16/17 days so far, which really ain’t bad.

Working a new job again and getting ready to launch a second ST video. October is bringing a lot of change alongside that of the weather……

Popularity: 19% [?]

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Sep
18

SexyTie.com | Learn How to Tie a Tie the Sexy Way

Posted in life at 8:11 pm with tags: • • • • • • • • • •

Along with my cohort Casey Capshaw, I’m utterly pleased to announce the launch of our first Attention Engine LLC project: SexyTie.com - Learn how to Tie a Tie the Sexy Way

We spent a lot of time over this summer brainstorming ideas that would take advantage of each of our talents, be lots of fun to make, give us business experience to learn from, and generate some cash on the side to support our world-centric lifestyles.

So here I present to you, our first SexyTie video: The Full Windsor Knot. At least 7 more knots will follow!

If you like it, please take the time to DIGG IT here, and rate it on metacafe.com here.



SexyTie.com | How To Tie A Tie | The Full Windsor Knot. - video powered by Metacafe

Popularity: 55% [?]

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Sep
11

Nothing New

Posted in life at 4:01 pm with tags: •

Nothing to new or interesting to report! Still working part time, editing Chicago videos on the side. Had our first glimpse of Fall yesterday in boulder, a) because it got fairly cold and b) because I realized it was dark at 8pm!

not sure i’m ready for winter!

Popularity: 24% [?]

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Aug
28

Updates……including training

Posted in fitness, life, strength training at 1:49 pm with tags: • • • • •

Spent a good weekend in chicago filming more videos, this time at Navy Pier. Got a little sunburned, SHAME on me. Flew back Monday morning and went into work, then went straight to the gym for a truly ass kicking afternoon chest/triceps session. Nearly passed out in the Sauna, then headed home for a bit before meeting stan for some drinks in the evening.

Had a good hill run this morning, realizing that winter is coming has made it a bit easier to get up and enjoy the warmth. This year is flying by. Starting to get a fairly good outline/vibe of what the next year or so of life is going to like, and must say it feels pretty good to have some direction again. Still working through some of the issues that came up for me a few weeks ago, and while not really enjoyable, it feels good to be letting go of some things.

Popularity: 45% [?]

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Aug
21

Slipping Away

Posted in life at 4:26 pm with tags: • • • • • •

I like this song……..Moby rocks. “open to everything” has been the phrase in my head the last week. I knew it was from a song but couldn’t remember it for the life of me. Feels good to have found it……..and to be feeling it……


powered by ODEO

Popularity: 38% [?]

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Jul
7

Change & Routine

Posted in fitness, life at 8:56 pm with tags: • • •

the winds of change are definitely blowing and for the first time in a long time i feel like i have no bearings and simply no clue in what direction to point my sail. it’s a slightly uncomfortable feeling, though not an unfamiliar one as it feels similar to what i’ve felt in previous periods of growth of some kind or another.

consequently, as my fitness program is the only point of stability in my life of any sort right now, I’m going to throw a lot of energy towards it this next week, and not just because I took last week off. somehow it has become my comfort zone and i hope that abiding in it with extra awareness for the next while will make it much easier to weather whatever storm appears to be rolling in.

Popularity: 32% [?]

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Jun
4

Have patience with happiness

Posted in life at 2:14 pm with tags: • •

despite some financials pains and the uncertainty of my employment situation in the coming months, life is pretty good for me right now. I’m feeling good and excited about how things are going in a number of different areas of my life.

With that has come the strange sensation of trying not to get attached to that happiness. To allow myself to feel it deeply, but not come to expect or even require it. It’s a very interesting thing, many people talk about not becoming attached to physical possessions, power, love, past traumas, bad times, or even state experiences. It’s more infrequent to find discussions of holding happiness itself at arms length, often times the things we generally think of as making us happy are the elements of samsara, things which can never truly last.

The trick, so they say, is to realize that the good and the bad are really all the same, just fleeting manifestations. However, if you learn to love the space from which all things unfold you’re really onto something. So that’s what I’m trying to do, and I find myself trying not to get too wrapped up in the good times, as inevitably the bad ones will return. Instead of pounding a few more shots to increase my buzz I’m trying to enjoy where I’m at and slowly enjoy a full glass of wine. Have patience with happiness, let yourself enjoy the good things in small doses, and know that it’s just as finicky as suffering and will come and go as it pleases. But don’t be afraid to enjoy its company when its here…

the dude abides.

Popularity: 20% [?]

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Feb
15

Excellent advice from a former WoW’er

Posted in life at 9:28 pm with tags: • • •

Some great lessons learned from an ex World of Warcraft junkie. (i was one myself for a time)

Popularity: 22% [?]

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Jan
6

death

Posted in life at 9:53 pm with tags: • • •

the trip back from chicago went well, thankfully no further problems at the airport. Spent the week applying for some jobs, nothing too exciting or promising. The rest of the week I sat around the house mainly watching netflix movies. Most notably, I just finally finished Six Feet Under, which I started a little over a year ago. While I think the show lost its way a bit in the middle few seasons, the first season and last part of season 5 are particularly amazing.

The final episode, and specifically the final 15 minutes of the last show, make for probably the best conclusion to a series I’ve seen. The final montage in the last episode is painfully beautiful and straightforward, and a logical fulfilment of the premise of the show. It’s one of those beautiful moments of film/video where the music and the images magically combine to create something neither of them would be alone. With the images showing us what to feel, and the music informing how we should feel it.

For me, the best episodes of the show were the ones in which the ‘death’ of the episode informed and revealed something about what the characters were struggling with at the time. The technique is similar to the way the island ‘manifests’ shadow issues or undigested material for the cast to deal with in LOST. The deaths in Six Feet Under do much the same I think, though the episodes that do that are certainly more prevalent earlier in the series before it turns into more typical soap-opera esque character issues.

While a little cheesy, predictable, and overly dramatic at points in the series, overall I’m so impressed. This is a show about how life is, not how we want life to be. Nobody is perfect in the show, but everybody has moments of perfection. Issues don’t always get resolved, things don’t necessarily end happily, and people don’t always come around as we might hope. Check it out if you haven’t already.

Death is that strangest of things; the one universal experience that every living being in the world shares, something completely universal, but also simultaneously the loneliest thing in the world for anyone to experience or witness.

That probably wasn’t the best show in the world to watch during my unemployed-what-the fuck-am-i-doing-with-my-26-year-old-life period right now. Meditating on death does little to alleviate existential angst.

Popularity: 28% [?]

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May
17

Everything has changed, absolutely nothings changed

Posted in life at 12:23 pm with tags: • •

That’s not the line from “Corduroy”. But it should be. I went to my first of hopefully five Pearl Jam shows last night. Yup, you read that right, FIVE. A new record. Even for me. And it was with another Ten Club member at that. It couldn’t have been a better night. I love Pearl Jam. I really do. On so many levels. Why do I love Pearl Jam?

  • They’re sustainable
  • Everything they do is for their fans
  • They’ve never stopped growing (and me along with them)
  • They treat rock and roll as revolution
  • They’re a classic rock band, not just an alternative one

I actually don’t listen to Pearl Jam albums that much. During off season, months will usually pass in which I don’t put on a single record of theirs. In the back of my mind, I know how good they are and that they’ll always be there. So I start to take them for granted, and slowly start to forget.

Then, they’ll release an album. I love when they release albums, because its one of the few times in my life I can definitively say, ‘on this day my life will be changed forever’. Not changed in any major way, but in a measurable way. Now when I do listen to PJ, I can choose from X numbers of albums, one more than before!

Ten I bought at Best Buy, in 8th grade. Vitalogy I got for Xmas in 8th grade. VS. I got around Easter in 8th grade.

I got No Code when I was a sophomore. My mother and I went to the DMV to get my learners permit, and I stopped at Tower Records next door. I had been listening to “Who You Are” on repeat nearly the entire month before that.

Yield I got in ‘98, when I was a Junior. I was working at CompUSA at the time, which closed at 9. Thus to get it that first day, I had to have my mom pick it up before she got me from work.

Binaural was in 2000. I was in Southern California, that Urban wasteland of highways and roads. Jessica Wickum had to drive me to Best Buy to pick it up.

Riot Act was fall of 2002. I got it at Streetlight Records on Pacific Avenue in Santa Cruz, on my way to one of my very first staff meetings at the group home.

Pearl Jam [Self-Titled], I pre-ordered through the ten club. It technically arrived on April 29th, but I didn’t get it until the 30th when Mike Arens picked me up for the airport and we rolled back to Boulder.

Now, back to what really matters. No two shows are ever alike. No setlist is ever the same. Their catalogue is so huge there’s no way it could be. Songs are always played differently, the band always sounds differently, the energy of the room is always unique, my seats are always different, daughter/betterman usually have unique tags, and you never know who’ll they’ll cover or what famous rockstar will show up on stage with them.

Yet, every Pearl Jam show is also exactly the same. I know the structure of the show and what it will be like: eddie drinking a bottle of wine, length generally between 2-3 hours, 3 sets, last one always ends with a rocking cover, and then Yellow Ledbetter. And then me walking out in a daze. State experience indeed.

Everytime I go to a Pearl Jam show, I’m a completely different person. Years go by between Pearl Jam tours, and often months between shows. I’ve seen them at Soldier Field with Steve when I was hardly pubescent……..Madison Square Garden with Matt in New York……St. Louis with Lorne………Indianapolis with Seth…………….San Francisco on Halloween with liz, shawn, and mark……..Ed at the Tibetin Freedon concert……….acoustic with ben harper at the Bridge School Benefit……..Santa Barbara for the re-unification of Temple of the Dog after driving 6 hours straight with Matt, and of course, the United Center with Kelly.

Everytime I go to a show, I’m re-living those moments. I am those moments, I am inhabit all those selves at once:
I’m Jason at a Pearl Jam show, having the best time in my life.

But I’m also not. I’m different. I’ve grown. I’ve changed. I’ve deepened my awareness since, and hopefully cultivated myself into a better human being. I have new memories, new pains, new regrets, new stresses, new joys. I even look different physically.

Then suddenly, when those lights go down, that all falls away. I fall away. I’m living that same moment I’ve lived a thousand times before. It IS the same moment as all those times before. I simply Am. That’s the thing about Pearl Jam shows for me, when I’m there, I feel it, I get it. All those meditations and practices make sense. I just AM. I settle in I amness. The moment that lasts forever and never goes away……never changes……..the past, the present, and the future…….are ALL just one big pearl jam show.

Everything has changed, absolutely nothings changed. Impermanence and Permanence. Maybe you get it, maybe you don’t. either way, i hope you have something in your life that affects you in similar ways.

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